next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
