so explain again why im purple
no
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wear drunk well.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
