there's paper in my vomit.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
