i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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