Sry I called you an 8
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
