talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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