I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
