Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
