Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
