you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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