Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
