Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
