I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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