He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I deserve this hangover.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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