chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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