Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
