While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
