There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
