Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
