We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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