porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
