Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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