Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
