is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down