Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
