well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.