Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
