apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
