the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
