your room smells of hookers.
And success
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
