now i know why i became what i already was.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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