I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
