Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
