3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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