thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
