she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
