You made me cry and you don't even care
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
