I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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