I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
