Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
