she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.