I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
R you on birth control?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.