this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
