she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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