she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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