took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize