I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
