physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She needs sedatives and a leash
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
