fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
