he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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