I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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