I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
