Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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