Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
did you just send me my own nude
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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