1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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