i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
