So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm really busy with my period
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