I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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