marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
