I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
