My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
