he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
