college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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