My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
