after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
