Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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