My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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