I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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