He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
