She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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