So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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